Today we are excited to announce Cloudflare has been named a “Best Place to Work for LGBTQ Equality” by the Human Rights Campaign (HRC). This designation was earned by receiving a perfect score of 100 percent on the HRC’s 2021 Corporate Equality Index. The Corporate Equality Index (CEI) is a nationally recognized benchmarking tool that assesses the inclusivity of corporate policies, practices, and benefits for LGBTQIA+ employees.

Cloudflare’s mission is to “help build a better Internet”. An essential factor that helps us deliver on this mission is our people. When you are solving some of the toughest problems facing the Internet for users worldwide, you need talented individuals that contribute unique outlooks. We strive to build a workplace where our entire team feels comfortable and excited to bring their true authentic selves so they can do their best work.

2021 is the first year Cloudflare has been listed on the Index, but we have been paving this path for quite some time. Back in 2017 a few Cloudflare employees chartered Proudflare, Cloudflare’s first-ever Employee Resource Group (ERG). Proudflare serves as a community space for LGBTQIA+ employees and allies. Check out our Proudflare Launch blog to learn more on that process! Proudflare hosts educational events, celebrates LGBTQIA+ folks, and advocates for equality in the workplace and beyond. In 2019, right around the same time Cloudflare surpassed 500 full-time US-based employees, a requirement to be included in the CEI, a group of members took a look at how equitably LGBTQIA+ folks are represented in our policies, practices, and benefits.

As we set our sights on the CEI, it wasn’t enough for us to be included. In typical Cloudflare fashion, we set a lofty goal. If we were going to be listed we would hold ourselves accountable for being a truly inclusive workplace and receive the best score, of 100. This goal forced us to be diligent, proactive, and thoughtful. We organized a team of individuals across Proudflare, the Benefits, Legal, Facilities, Recruiting, and People teams, which led to the creation of some incredible new resources for employees.

The CEI ranking takes into account workforce protections (for sexual orientation and gender identity), inclusive benefits (equivalency for same and different sex spouses and domestic partners, and equal health coverage for transgender individuals) and specific guidelines around internal training for new hires and managers (that cover nondiscrimination, gender identity, sexual orientation) and best practices (such as gender transition guidelines) as well as efforts to recruit and reach out to the wider LGBTQIA+ community. The full report is here and includes details of everything that went into achieving the perfect 100 score.

Looking ahead, we will strive to maintain this score and continue to challenge ourselves to make Cloudflare an ever more inclusive place to work.

Thirty-one years ago, on the anniversary of the National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights, we first observed National Coming Out Day as a reminder that one of our most basic tools is the power of coming out. One out of every two Americans has someone close to them who is gay or lesbian. For transgender people, that number is only one in 10.

Coming out - whether it is as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or queer - STILL MATTERS. When people know someone who is LGBTQ, they are far more likely to support equality under the law. Beyond that, our stories can be powerful to each other.

Each year on October 11th, National Coming Out Day continues to promote a safe world for LGBTQ individuals to live truthfully and openly. Every person who speaks up changes more hearts and minds, and creates new advocates for equality.

For more on coming out, visit HRC's post.

Source: https://www.hrc.org/resources/national-coming-out-day

Last National Coming Out Day, I shared some stories from Proudflare members in this blog post. This year, I wanted to shift our focus to the experience and challenges of coming out in the workplace. I wanted to share what it was like for some of us to come out at Cloudflare, at our first companies, and point out some of the stresses, challenges, and risks involved.

Check out these five examples below and share your own in the comments section and/or to the people around you if you'd like!

While my first experience of coming out professionally was at my previous company, I thought I’d share some of the differences between my experiences at Cloudflare and this other company.

Reflecting retrospectively, coming out was so immensely liberating. I've never been happier, but at the time I was a mess. LGBTQIA+ people still have little to no legal protection, and having been initially largely rejected by my parents and several of my friends after coming out to them, I felt like I was at sea, floating without a raft. This feeling of unease was compounded by my particular coming out being a two part series: I wasn’t only coming out as transgender, but now also as a lesbian.

Eventually, after the physical changes became too noticeable to ignore (around 7 months ago), I worked up the courage to come out at work. The company I was working for was awful in many ways; bad culture, horrible project manager, and rampant nepotism. Despite this, I was pleasantly surprised that what I told them was almost immediately accepted. Surely this was finally a win for me? However, that initial optimism didn’t last. As time went on, it became clear that saying you accept it and actually internalizing it are completely different. I started being questioned about needed medical appointments, and I wasn’t really being treated any different than before. I still have no idea if it played into the reason they fired me for “performance” despite never bringing it up before.

As I started applying for new jobs, one thing was always on my mind: will this job be different? Thankfully the answer was yes; my experience at Cloudflare has been completely different. Through the entire hiring process, I never once had to out myself. Finally when I had to come out to use my legal name on the offer letter, Cloudflare handled it with such grace. One such example was that they went so far as to put my preferred name in quotes next to my legal one on the document. These little nuggets of kindness are visible all over the company - you can tell people are accepting and genuinely care. However, the biggest difference was that Cloudflare supports and celebrates the LGBTQIA+ community but doesn’t emphasize it. If you don’t want it to be part of your identity it doesn’t have to be. Looking to the future I hope I can just be a woman that loves women, not a trans-woman that loves women, and I think Cloudflare will be supportive of that.

My coming out story? It involves an awful lot of tears in a hotel room in Peru, about three and a half thousand miles away from anyone I knew.

That probably sounds more dramatic than the reality. I’d been visiting some friends in Minnesota and I was due to head to Peru to hike the Machu Picchu trail, but a missed flight connection saw me stranded in Atlanta overnight.

A couple of months earlier, I’d kind of came out to myself. This was less a case of admitting my sexuality, but more finally learning exactly what it is. I’d only just turned 40 and, months later, I was still trying to come to terms with what it all meant; reappraising your sexuality in your 40s is not a journey for the faint of heart! I hadn’t shared it with anyone yet, but while sitting in a thuddingly dull hotel room in Atlanta, it just felt like time. So I penned my coming out letter.

The next day I boarded a plane, posted my letter to Facebook, turned off my phone, and then experienced what was, without question, The. Longest. Flight. Of. My. Life. This was followed, perhaps unsurprisingly, by the longest taxi ride of my life.

Eventually, after an eternity or two had passed, I reached my hotel room, connected to the hotel wifi and read through the messages that had accumulated over the past 8 hours or so. Messages from my friends, and family, and even my Mum. The love and support I got from all of them just about broke me. I practically dissolved in a puddle of tears as I read through everything. Decades of pent up confusion and pain washed away in those tears.

I’ll never forget the sense of acceptance I felt after all that.

As for coming out at work, well, let’s see how it goes: Hi, I’m Mark, and I’m asexual.

I started my career working in consulting in a conservative environment where I was afraid that coming out would cause me to be taken less seriously by my male coworkers. I remember casually mentioning my partner at the time to a couple of close coworkers to gauge their response. They surprised me and turned out to be very accepting and insisted that I bring him to our Holiday Party later that year. That event was the first time I came out to my entire office and I remember feeling very nervous before stepping into the room.

My anxiety was soon quelled with a warm welcome from my office leadership and from then on I didn’t feel like I was dancing around the elephant in the room. After this experience being out at work is not something I think greatly about, I have been very fortunate to work in accepting environments including at Cloudflare!

Nearly a decade has passed since I first came out in a professional setting, when I first started working at a global investment bank in Manhattan. The financial services industry was, and continues to be, known for its machismo, and at the time, gay marriage was still illegal in the United States. Despite being out in my personal life, the thought of being out at work terrified me. I already felt so profoundly different from my coworkers as a woman and a person of colour, and thus I feared that my LGBTQIA+ identity would further reduce my chances of career advancement. I had no professional role models to signal that is was okay to be LGBTQIA+ in my career.

Soon after starting this job, a close friend and university classmate invited me to a dinner for LGBTQIA+ young professionals in financial services and management consulting. I had never attended an event targeted at LGBTQIA+ professionals, let alone met an out LGBTQIA+ individual working outside of the arts, academia or nonprofit sectors. Looking around the dining room, I felt as though I had spotted a unicorn: a handful of out senior leaders at top investment banks and consulting firms sat among nearly 40 ambitious young professionals, sharing their coming out stories and providing invaluable career advice. Before this event, I would have never believed that there were so many people “like me” within the industry, and most certainly not in executive positions. For the first time, I felt a strong sense of belonging, as I finally had LGBTQIA+ role models to look up to professionally, and I no longer felt afraid of being open about my sexuality professionally.

After this event, I felt inspired and energised. Over the subsequent weeks, my authentic self began to show. My confidence and enthusiasm at work dramatically increased. I was able to build trust with my colleagues more easily, and my managers lauded me for my ability to incorporate constructive feedback quickly.

As I reflect on my career trajectory, I have not succeeded in spite of my sexuality, but rather, because of being out as a bisexual woman. Over the course of my career, I have developed strong professional relationships with senior LGBTQIA+ mentors, held leadership positions in a variety of diversity networks and organisations, and attended a number of inspiring conferences and events. Without the anxiety of having to hide an important part of my identity, I am able to be the confident, intelligent woman I truly am. And that is precisely why I am actively involved in Proudflare, Cloudflare’s employee resource group for LGBTQIA+ individuals. I strongly believe that by creating an inclusive workplace - for anyone who feels different or out of place - all employees will have the support and confidence to shine in their professional and personal lives.

I really discovered my sexuality in college. Growing up, there weren’t many queer people in my life. I always had a loving family that would presumably accept me for who I was, but the lack of any queer role models in my life made me think that I was straight for quite some time. I just didn’t know what being gay was.

I always had a best friend - someone that I would end up spending all my time with. This friend wouldn’t always be the same person, but inevitably I would latch on one person and focus most of my emotional energy on our friendship. In college this friend was Daniel. We met while pledging a business fraternity our freshman year and quickly became close friends. Daniel made me feel different. I thought about him when I wasn't with him, I wanted to be with him all the time, and most of all I would get jealous when he would date women. He saw right through me and eventually got me to open up about being gay. Our long emotional text conversation ended with me asking if he had anything he wanted to share with me (fingers crossed). His answer - “I don’t know why everyone assumes I’m gay, I’m not.” Heart = Broken.

Fast forward 6 months and we decide to live together our Junior year. I slowly started becoming more comfortable with my sexuality and began coming out. I started with my close friends, then my brother, then slightly less close friends, but kept getting hung up on my parents. Luckily, Daniel made that easier. That text from Daniel about not being gay ended up being not as set in stone as I thought. We started secretly dating for almost a year and I was the happiest I have ever been. The thrills of a secret relationship can only last so long and eventually we knew we needed to tell the world. We came out to our parents together, as a couple. We were there for each other for the good conversations, the tough conversations, the “Facebook Official” post, and coming out at our first corporate jobs (A never ending cycle). We were so fortunate to both work at warm, welcoming companies when we came out and continue to work at such companies today.

Coming out wasn’t easy but knowing I didn’t have to do it alone made it a whole heck of a lot easier. Happy four-year anniversary, Dan.

To find resources about living openly, visit the Human Rights Campaign’s Coming Out Center. I hope you'll be true to yourselves and always be loud and proud.

To read more about Proudflare and why Cloudflare cares about inclusion in the workplace, read Proudflare’s first pride blog post.

The moment that crystalised the memory of that day…crystal blue afternoon, bright-coloured autumn leaves, borrowed tables, crockery and cutlery, flowers arranged by a cousin, cake baked by a neighbour, music mixed by a friend... our priest/rabbi a close gay friend with neither  yarmulke nor collar. The venue, a backyard kitty-corner at the home my wife grew up in. Love and good wishes in abundance from a community that supports us and our union. And in the middle of all that, my wife… turning to me and smiling, grass stains on the bottom of her long cream wedding dress after abandoning her heels and dancing barefoot in the grass. As usual, a microphone in hand, bringing life and laughter to all with her charismatic quips.

This was the fall of 2002 and same-sex marriage was legal in 0 of the 50 United States.

Our first marriage in Oct 2002 in Walnut Creek, CA

It was a tough time economically. We had a front row seat to the historic internet boom and bust. My company filed chapter 11 bankruptcy and my customer’s customers were going out of business. I did not anticipate getting a job anytime soon. So after a lot of silver-tongued persuading, I convinced my wife to quit her job, rent out our home, buy a RV. We grabbed our two Australian shepherds and toured the US for a nine-month honeymoon. Forty-five states and 36,000 miles later, we still had some funds left over and I wanted to show Robin my other home, so we travelled to South Africa for 6 weeks. Just before we got on our flight back to the US, we heard news from our family that Gavin Newsom, the then mayor of San Francisco was going to declare same-sex marriage legal and begin issuing marriage licenses in San Francisco. The trip back to the Bay Area took 42 hours door-to-door and had a nine-hour time change. We got home, dropped off our bags and the very next morning, completely jet-lagged, went back into the city to stand in line to get our marriage license.

Held in an alcove in the beautiful San Francisco City Hall rotunda with its exquisite architectural design and a view of the grand staircase. It was attended by Robin’s parents and a couple of our close friends that could take the time at such short notice. Knowing that the time window was closing, we grabbed the opportunity to have our marriage recognised legally along with dozens of other jubilant gay couples.

Alas, a short time later, we received an annulment in the mail. We received that, along with an apology and a request that we donate the licensing fees to the city. We were disappointed, but felt our love was strong enough to carry us through and who needed a piece of paper anyway, right?!?

Our attitude changed significantly when we had our son. We had been trying for a while and what finally worked for us was to take my egg along with a sperm bank donation, and impregnate Robin. To this day, my mom says I’m the best delegator she knows. I delegated childbirth. I also delegated all my rights as Joey’s mother. Absent a marriage, in California, the birth mother has all the rights and responsibilities.

Robin had been in a relationship before me where she had planned and had a child with another woman. When they split up, Robin had no rights to see or have access to the child. She also had no obligation to support the child in any way, financial or other.

We wanted to make sure Joey never faced that predicament and without the option for marriage, took the next available avenue. I adopted Joey. Even though he is genetically my child, we had to go through a lengthy and costly procedure to adopt him. We had child protective services inspect our home and come for numerous visits to ensure I would be a “suitable” parent for my child. Eventually, I was granted adoption approval and we went to family court in Martinez where I came before a judge and officially adopted Joey as my son.

In the early summer of 2008, the California Supreme Court declared same-sex marriage legal in California. We were the second state to make it legal after Massachusetts. The court found that barring same-sex couples from marriage violated California State’s Constitution.  

In the period between the declaration and Prop 8 passing, Robin and I joined 18,000 gay couples that tied the knot.

At this point, we were pros at getting married and went with casual jeans and white cotton shirts, which was easier for everyone including our son who attended our wedding. This was the first marriage where our legal rights and responsibilities actually stuck. These rights were only valid in California however, so on any travel outside of our beautiful state our union would be considered illegitimate. From a tax perspective, it was a real adventure with every advisor having a different take on the way we should file our taxes. Federally our marriage was not recognized, but in California it was. This lead to a lot of confusion and added expenses every April.

Little did we know the backlash that our happy/gay marriages would cause. The religious, conservative right came back at us with Prop 8 for daring to expect equality.

From our perspective, there was no other way to view this than vengeful and born out of malice for gays. Why would these people care that we wanted to live together and have the protections of marriage? I saw this as a group of people wanting to impose their religion and view of what a marriage should be on us. We were on vacation in Hawaii when the election results were announced, sweet with Barack Obama being elected and so, so very bitter with Prop 8 passing.

Prop 8 provoked a lot of soul-searching for me. I was very angry and had a general distrust of people that I had never felt before. I would be in the supermarket line and wonder who there may or may not have voted against my marriage. It was deeply personal and hurtful. We had Mormon friends, who are for the most part wonderful and whose company we enjoyed. Knowing the extreme measures their community went to to ensure Prop 8 passed, cut me deeply.  Catholics and conservatives who are both family and friends, went out of their way to harm me and my family and to make our lives more difficult because they believed we were sinners and not worthy of equality in the eyes of the law. Fortunately, our marriage was grandfathered in, so our rights in California were preserved.

The one ray of light was watching our allies stand up and come to our defense. In my life, I’ve pretty much always been part of the privileged class. I’m a white woman with a degree who grew up in an affluent home. I had never personally experienced discrimination or felt part of a marginalized minority. To have allies that stepped up and argued on our behalf brought tears to my eyes. We would not have the rights we have today without those allies. This was a significant lesson for me to learn. I will always stand up for the disenfranchised and make my voice heard to defend those who cannot defend themselves as others have done for me and my family. I know how much it means.

Life went on, and the fight went on, gathering momentum as more states legalized same sex marriage initially through court action and then through popular vote.

We celebrated a landmark victory for gay rights as the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that same-sex marriage was a constitutional right and DOMA (the Defense of Marriage Act) was repealed. Finally, our marriage was recognised in every state in the Union.

We still consider our first wedding as the day we got married. We wrote our own vows and they have traveled with us from home to home framed with pride on the wall in our bedroom.

In October this year, Robin and I will celebrate our 17th wedding anniversary. We’ve been together 19 years in total and it’s been quite a ride. I promised Robin I’d marry her seven times, we still have a way to go!

On vacation, May 2019 in Bora Bora

My name is Kas. I’m a Cloudflare employee and I wanted to share my story with you on International Transgender Day of Visibility.

I've been different for as long as I can remember. I've been the odd one out not just for the time I've spent in tech, but most of my life.

I'm transgender in that I am gender non-binary. I'm working with the word 'agender' right now, as it is the word that describes me best: I'm not a woman, or a man, just a human. I don't really have a gender, and I certainly don't identify with either binary label.

The agender flag

Being transgender in tech is difficult. There are many times where we have to work harder, smarter, and give up so much to stay afloat. Times where you have to weigh the benefits of correcting your pronouns against the title of the person who is to be corrected (are they a customer? Your bosses' bosses' boss?). Times where you don't know if you can even be 'out' with your coworkers, because you just don't know if, or how, they'll treat you differently, or fairly.

Being agender or outside the binary represents its own special quirks: I get asked a lot if I'm OK with going to women's groups; I quickly explain that I am not a woman, but I try to be an ally to women, and see if the invite still applies. On International Women's Day, I got a bit of well-meaning attention as a ‘Woman in Tech.’ I had to think for a bit: should I just bite the bullet and accept the attention while glossing over my identity? In the end, I decided to speak up and redirect the attention to actual women-- And yes, before you even think to ask, I mean ALL women, including and especially trans women.

I'm lucky to be at Cloudflare; my coworkers respect my pronouns, and I'm treated fairly. We even have an organization, Proudflare, that advocates for LGBTQIA+ Cloudflare employees and folks in general. It's still hard to be visible and trans in tech. For those who are out, and proud, and loud; be sure to recognize their work. Think about the extra work trans folk put in to be visible while trying to remain safe and healthy. I can't and won't speak for the entire trans community, but I can respect their experiences and I can listen to them.

I guess that's the one thing I might ask of the reader here: listen to trans people. Really listen. And, if they seek to be visible, help them. Share their work.

Proudflare, Cloudflare's LGBTQIA+ employee resource group, finds ways to support and provide resources for the LGBTQIA+ community, both within Cloudflare and in the larger community.

Proudflare started in 2017 in our San Francisco headquarters and in 2018, the Proudflare Singapore chapter was formed. We were excited to participate in our first public-facing event and demonstrate Cloudflare’s commitment to equality and dignity for all people!

We took to the streets this year to celebrate, but more importantly demand equality for our community in Singapore. It was an exciting event, with heaps of buzz, cheer, and joy amongst the crowd! Pink Dot SG included LGBTQIA+-themed events, information tents, a concert, and onstage were 10 Declarations for Equality, a list of changes the LGBTQIA+ community and their allies are ready for and advocating for in Singapore.

Annual supporter-wide group pink light moment

You can read more here about what the Proudflare team has been doing globally. I am a Singaporean Permanent Resident, and am proud to share our Proudflare journey so far in Singapore.

Cupcakes!

We kicked off our celebrations with twenty-five Cloudflarians over cupcakes and lunch. We discussed a few articles articles centered on about LGBTQIA+ issues in tech in Asia Pacific, specifically in Singapore.

Different pride booths at Pink Dot Singapore

Next up we took to the streets! Pink Dot is a terrific opportunity to meet other LGBTQ+ individuals in Singapore, and share stories and methods of efficacy. We listened to and learned from a ton of like-minded peers, and had a great time!

Some of our Proudflare Singapore members at Pink Dot

Notes of love and hope from the event

It may sound a bit cheesy, but I loved the opportunity to meet other folks who faced the same challenges that I did. I was reminded that progress does not come to those who accept that status quo, and that sometimes it’s necessary to make a bit of noise to facilitate change. Pink Dot is a terrific opportunity to share stories, and remind both allies and non-allies that we exist and can’t be ignored.

I’m tremendously lucky to work at a company that supports employees of all stripes. I’m optimistic that Singapore will change its laws regarding non-cis people and activities, hopefully sooner rather than later.

Art from the event

Our Proudflare Singapore team met for food after the event

Singapore, we are ready, ready to support the freedom to love! #PinkDot10 #WeAreReady!

by Sebastian Tan via Pinkdot.sg

We would like to encourage you to support us by following us social media and join us at our next events.

• Proudflare on Facebook

• Proudflare on Twitter

• Proudflare on Instagram

Vu Long Tran and another Pink Dot Participant

On October 11, 1987, about 500,000 people marched on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights. This was the second demonstration of this type in the capital and it resulted in the formation of several LGBTQ organizations.

In the late 1980s, the LGBTQ community recognized that they often reacted defensively to anti LGBTQIA+ actions and the community came up with the idea of a national day for celebrating coming out. The anniversary of the 1987 march was chosen as that national day.

Each year on October 11th, National Coming Out Day continues to promote a safe world for LGBTQ individuals to live truthfully and openly.

Source: https://www.hrc.org/resources/coming-out

Here are seven examples of the coming out stories that surfaced from a company-wide awareness campaign. I hope you’ll enjoy reading these and will find inspiration in them. Let’s all be loud and proud and supportive of our (often silent) community members in their own coming out processes.

We were teenagers when my cousin (then male) originally came out as gay. We were and still are very close. We were born the same year, traveled Europe as small children, understood various languages and were both very adaptable middle children. Both our families settled in California when we returned to the US and continued to see each other regularly over the years. This gay coming out was no surprise to our large Latino family. We always accepted her just the way she was. It was later on when we were in college, I took a call from her when she was elated to tell me she was now, "working as a woman." That's when everything came into focus and we cried together over her transition to her true female self. She is an inspiration to me, my husband, our children and all the extended family who hold her dear, among many others. I couldn't be more proud of her and count myself lucky to be related to such a talented, honest, creative, beautiful and hard working woman.

From Rachel

My first love happened when I was sixteen years old. We dated for four years and had what I considered was a normal break up for that age. He wanted to pursue dreams in LA and I wanted to be in the Bay Area close to my family. We both agreed we were too young for long distance, so we amicably went our separate ways and promised to remain friends. We stayed in touch over the years and tried to maintain that we could remain best of friends despite being broken-hearted. I went to visit him a few times and noticed some trends in his friends. He had a lot of gay friends and we went to gay bars while I was there. I chopped it up to the industry that he was in (male model), but I would be lying if I didn't say I started to feel suspicious. Finally by the third time I came to visit, it just seemed so apparent that he had found another part of himself: one that seemed to make him feel at home. I cornered him one evening in a bar and said, "Please just tell me," and his response was, "Why? You already know," to which I said, "Because I need to hear it from you." He then turned to me and said, "I am gay". I looked at him, I kissed him, and my response was and will always be, "And I still love you. You are still the same person to me.”  

What people don't know is that because he had been a model I was teased about my "gay" boyfriend while we dated. What people don't know is that I was suspicious of this at the end of our relationship, but at twenty years old how do you talk to someone about that? It was obvious he was closed off and I wasn't ready to admit that I thought my boyfriend of four years was gay. What I did know was that my feelings were not what were as important as what he was going through. I knew him. I knew how he fought this. I knew how he saw that in his head that the happily ever after was supposed to be me or a version of me (aka female) with a white picket fence and children. I knew if I told him how crushed I was at the time it would upset him. So I told him what I truly believe inside my soul to be true and that was, "You are and will always still be the same person you have always been to me. You are the same good human that puts everyone else first and are one of the most loyal people I know. You treated me with respect, have always been so loving, and showed me what I good relationship was. I am so proud of you for showing me who you truly are inside and I will stand by your side the rest of my life."    

I was best woman in his wedding to a man. Some people don't understand our story. Some people ask me if I felt like our relationship wasn't real because he turned out to be gay. To that, I say our relationship was more real than most. His final choice in sexuality has nothing to do with that. Again, he has and always will be the same person to me. It doesn't change our history. We were a boy and a girl who at the time fell in love and who have now since found the loves of our lives in other people. His just happened to be a man.

From Daan

Around the age of thirteen, I knew that I had more romantic attractions towards the same sex. I didn’t have a crush, as many love stories tend to start, but I noticed my fellow students showed much more interests in girls than I did and so I came to the conclusion I was gay. It was that simple, quick and painless. In the next few months I told my friends about it, in my way I was proud about it, proud that I was able to be different.

>> Fast forward four years.

Growing up in the liberal lights of Amsterdam I’ve never had the feeling that coming out was a subject I had to worry about. My mother went to Paris with my sister for the weekend and I had the house for myself and during this weekend I remembered I never told my parents that I was gay, it was just never a thing. I decided that when she returned I would tell her. After she returned on Sunday I asked her to sit down because I wanted to tell her something important, she turned all white and asked: what happened? I told her that everything is fine and that I wanted to tell her that I was gay and would come home with a guy at some point. She directly got up from her chair and, I remember this like nothing else, she said “please, never scare me again, I thought something serious happened, you don’t have to tell me you’re gay, as a mother I know”. After that I went to my dad (my parents are divorced) and he replied the same that he already knew and that’s all good. In a way I expected nothing else but I was still happy the way it went. I wish everyone the same and have supportive friends. Don’t be worried about the world, put yourself on the first place and the right people will come to you.

From Malavika

There is no single coming out story - nearly every day involves coming out. Of course, it is most difficult to come out to the people who are most important to you or whose judgement impacts your life in significant ways, but being out and coming out is a continuous process.

As a bisexual person, coming out becomes even harder: what label do I use? Is it easier to say I am a lesbian? Is it easier to just not say anything at all when I am married to a man? When I first started coming out in a professional context in my early twenties, I simply identified as a lesbian. The label bisexual is often treated either flippantly or with suspicion. But, several years into my first job, I had a serious relationship with a man. I had to come out once again, but this time as a bisexual! It was actually even harder to come out the second time, because at this point, my coworkers and mentors had known me for years as a lesbian. I even had senior executives who were gay invested in my career because of my identity as a lesbian, and I felt as if I would disappoint them by being with a man. Even my mother didn't quite understand my sexuality. Concerned that I was not being true to myself, she told me, "If you like women, you should marry a woman, you don't have to please me or society, I just want you to be happy."

I am now happily married to a man, but I still feel it is important for me to be out as a bisexual woman. It is important for bisexual individuals to maintain this identity, because identifying as straight or gay ignores the totality of our romantic experiences. And with that, I come out once again, proudly, as bisexual.

From Rex

The day after the Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage, I asked my mom what she thought about it. I told her that she should be happy because it means I can get married one day. She cried a bit. But not for long. It didn't start easily, but 3 months later, they were ready to meet my boyfriend and make him part of the family. From there it has been coming out every day to different people, but it makes me happiest to be myself and not a wolf in sheep's clothing.

From Sherry

I love telling this story—my son Juliao came out to me at age six.

We had just moved to Santa Monica. Being new to the area, I set out to make new connections on the then popular platform MySpace. One day, a friend named Luna came over to hang out. We were chatting in Juliao’s bedroom while he was playing with his rather large collection of My Little Ponies. I mentioned to Luna that I found it remarkable that most of the folks I had reached out to over the social media platform were gay. I elaborated that they were the most interesting and the best looking.  

Juliao chimed in, “I’m gay” in a very matter of fact way, shrugging his shoulders. Luna and I turned to him, amazed. Luna replied, “How do you know, Juliao? What does that mean?” Juliao quickly answered, “When two boys love each other.” [Like duh.]    

We didn’t make a “big enchilada” of his revelation, though inside I was beaming. I was extremely proud that he could articulate a part of his identity so clearly and fearlessly.

From Andrew

I was 24 years old when I first fell in love with a man. Before I met him, I actually thought I was dating men as part of an experimental phase in life. My boyfriend went to school in New York and I lived in Boston, so I'd sneak away on weekends to visit him and lie to my family and friends about where I was and what I was doing.  After we broke up, I knew I needed to come out to my friends and family. I hated that I had been lying to them and to myself.      

It took me a couple weeks to work up the courage to send my mother, father, and brother an email, sharing what was going on. I concluded the email with, "I can't really predict how you'll take this, so I'll probably be avoiding you for a while.  Send me an email when you can to let me know when it's not awkward to talk to you."  

My family welcomed the news swiftly with warmth and support. I was very fortunate to have a wonderful, loving family.

To find resources about living openly, visit the Human Rights Campaign’s Coming Out Center. I hope you'll be true to yourselves and always be loud and proud.

To read more about Proudflare and why Cloudflare cares about inclusion in the workplace, read Proudflare’s pride blog post.

With Pride month now in our collective rearview mirror for 2018, I wanted to share what some of us have been up to at Cloudflare. We're so proud that, in the last 8 months, we've formed a LGBTQIA+ Employee Resource Group (ERG) called Proudflare. We've launched chapters and monthly activities in each of our primary locations: San Francisco, London, Singapore, and Austin. This month, we came out in force! We transformed our company's social profiles, wrapped our HQ building in rainbow window decals, highlighted several non-profits we support, and threw a heck of an inaugural Pride Celebration.

We’re a very young group — just 8 months old — but we have big plans. Check out some of our activities and future plans, follow us on social media, and consider starting an ERG at your company too.

On my first day at Cloudflare in October, 2017, I logged into Hipchat and searched LGBTQ. Fortunately for me, there was a "LGBT at Cloudflare" chat room already created, and I started establishing connections right away. I found that there had been a couple of informal group outings, but there was no regular activity, sharing of resources, nor an official group. Proudflare was born that day, and the ball kept rolling.

Our first official event was a Lunch & Discussion in December. We had a gathering of eleven Cloudflare employees around lunch to discuss articles about LGBTQIA+ issues in tech. We unanimously agreed to continue holding events like this and form an ERG.

Here are the first two articles we discussed:

• Lesbians' Wage Premium: Girl Power

• Gay Men Used to Earn Less than Straight Men; Now They Earn More

Once we established a regular structure of events, we started introducing Proudflare to our other locations. In March, we held our first SF mixer with LGBTQIA+ ERGs from other tech companies. We decided we wanted to fully announce the group to the whole company during Pride month, so we sent out an email to the entire company introducing Proudflare and gave presentations at our All Hands meeting.

All of Cloudflare welcomed us and embraced us as their first ERG.

Our Austin chapter held its second Lunch & Discussion event, where Cloudflare employees got together to discuss how to write more inclusive job descriptions. They also discussed ideas for a Pride celebration and announced the first Proudflare service day, where the group will take time off to volunteer at a LGBTQIA+ youth organization.

The London chapter held its third Lunch & Discussion event, where the group brainstormed better processes for welcoming new employees to the London office, supporting them with resources, and making Proudflare a more salient part of the office culture. They also began planning their first Pride Celebration, which will take place after London Pride this July.

The Singapore chapter held its first event this month and was overwhelmed with support. A group of twenty-five Cloudflarians gathered to learn how they may make the Singapore office inclusive and supportive of LGBTQIA+ individuals. They discussed articles about LGBTQIA+ issues in Singapore and started planning their first external event in support of Pink Dot's PinkFest.

At our headquarters, where roughly half of our global employee base is located, we felt it important to really make an impact. We wrapped our SOMA offices with rainbow window decals, organized a contingent to march with Bluegrass Pride in the parade, and renamed Cloudflare to "Proudflare".

We also held a Lunch & Discussion event where we shared stories of what Pride means to each of us and hosted our inaugural Pride Celebration, where we welcomed one hundred sixty people into our space to learn about nonprofits we believe in and celebrate with us.

Here are the nonprofits we highlighted:

The Trevor Project: Founded in 1998 by the creators of the Academy Award®-winning short film TREVOR, The Trevor Project is the leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning (LGBTQ) young people ages 13–24.

We're honored to support the Trevor Project with Cloudflare's Project Galileo. Organizations working on behalf of the arts, human rights, civil society, or democracy, can apply for Project Galileo to get Cloudflare’s highest level of protection for free.

Rainbow Railroad: In response to the confirmed reports of abductions, detentions, enforced disappearances, torture, and deaths targeting over 200 gay and bisexual men in Chechnya, Rainbow Railroad immediately went into action to assist those in danger. Rainbow Railroad has been working closely with the Russian LGBT Network, a non-governmental organization currently leading the campaign to rescue those facing danger in Chechnya.

Project Open House: Openhouse enables San Francisco Bay Area LGBT seniors to overcome the unique challenges they face as they age by providing housing, direct services, and community programs. As a result, they have reduced isolation and empowered LGBT seniors to improve their overall health, well-being, and economic security.

We're a new ERG and we've come a long way in a short amount of time, but we have a lot more planned. Here are some projects we're currently working on:

• Hosting an event in support of Pink Dot in Singapore

• Hosting Pride Celebration events in Austin

• Inserting a presentation about inclusion and ERGs in our new hire orientation

• Supporting ally skills trainings for employees

• Working with recruiting on writing inclusive job descriptions

• Advising human resources on which benefits packages are most LGBTQIA+ friendly

• Establishing a framework for LGBTQIA+ diversity data collection and reporting with our people team

• Publishing all Proudflare-related resources in a Wiki for all Cloudflare employees to access easily

I suggest starting an employee resource group at your company. Whether it be focused on LGBTQIA+, women, people of color, parents, or other underserved populations in tech, conversations about inclusion and community-building make for a better work atmosphere. Here are some beginning resources I used.

Let's make our industry a better, more inclusive place for all.

Also, follow us on social media and join us at our next events.

• Proudflare on Facebook

• Proudflare on Twitter

• Proudflare on Instagram

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Proudflare